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Gaits of Gold Gaited Horse Community Messageboard > 'Tails' From the Trails > Off Topic Forum > Funny horse tales |
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Gaits of Gold Gaited Horse Community Messageboard > 'Tails' From the Trails > Off Topic Forum > Funny horse tales |
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| Moderated by: sdlepal | Page:   1 2 3 4 |
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| Funny horse tales | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 05:05 pm |
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61st Post |
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GypsySusan G.O.G Community Member 
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Oh my, Tessie, your story has me ROTFL outloud. Thank you, thank you, thank you.!!!!!l1
____________________ Susan www.gypsytrotters.com Phil 4:11-13, 19 Missouri Fox Trotters: To Ride One... Is to Own One. |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 04:56 pm |
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62nd Post |
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TessieBAgain G.O.G Community Member 
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Bigshot, the horse in my original avatar, is my steady eddie. He's my cow horse and at 1400 lbs he can clear a path in hurry if I tell him to. He sincerely wishes I would learn how to actually rope a cow and act like a real cowboy although he forgives me for my lack of skill in the typical Quarter horse manner. Normally quiet and well mannered, Bigshot will occasionally reveal a sense of humor. Not long ago I had a JW visit while I was grooming my horse. While she discussed God and so forth, Bigshot added his 2-cents worth by farting his opinion. JW presents her pamphlet. "You know God has a plan for us and we need to live by his law." Bigshot: "FFFFFFFSSSSSSSST". Tail flick. "SSST. Friiiiipppppp." I keep grooming my golden boy and she continues her talk. "Do you believe in God?" she asks me Bigshot immediately butts in. Literally. He moved his butt over, raised his left rear leg, and farted blast that sent the horseflies scattering. My visitor blinked while I slowly curried my equine buddy. For the first time in my life I'm glad I let my hair grow long as I was nearly crying with the effort of holding back my laughter. "I can see you are busy," she says and puts the pamphlet in my tack box. "Thank you and have a good day." "Phhhhffffffftssst. Tsssst. Phhhllllllsssstt!" said Bigshot. I nod and keep brushing his flank, and avoid all eye contact with the young lady. Bless her heart. Head to head, Bigshot and I watch her drive down the gravel drive. My blond buddy licks his lips and sighs. I look at him and he blinks at me. I see that familiar curve to his lips. I start currying his flank again and enjoyed the silence that now surrounds me. Last edited on Thu Jul 15th, 2010 04:59 pm by TessieBAgain |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 04:16 pm |
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63rd Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member 
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Brenda Im wrote: These stories are fun - thanks for starting the thread. Yeah I love reading these horsey stories and thanks for your contribution. I soo recognize the type of person you describe. They come in all ages and sizes. I used to own a horse, Bleikur, who stood only about 13hh tall, but was full of fire and will to go. I will tell his original story another time. Anyway I was riding him on the oval track; this was back in the late 70ies when Icies were just beginning to establish themselves in Sweden. Owners of the bigger breeds looked down, both literally and mentally, on any adult riding a 'pony', as they insisted on calling them. This fancy big horse owner lady was watching us from outside the fence and made a snide remark 'what a cute pony you're riding'. I picked up on the sugared contempt so I stopped dead and asked her if she would like to try my pony. Her smile stiffened a little with apprehension, but she didn't refuse. As she mounted Bleikur I could see him tensing up; whenever you sat him it felt like he suddenly grew 2 or 3 hhs taller. Doing what she'd been taught to do, the woman slammed her lower legs against his sides, getting the result I had anticipated. After 2 laps of flying around the track she was looking decidedly desperate and my heart told me I did not want her hurt after all. I gave Bleikur the word to stop, 'Halt' and he immediately planted all four, right in front of me, so sharply that the little lady came flying through the air, landing in my arms. I could see smugness on Bleikur's face, as she left the ring with the comment; 'that's one wild pony!' Last edited on Thu Jul 15th, 2010 04:18 pm by goranbockman ____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 02:45 pm |
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64th Post |
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Brenda Im Pasture Boss 
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These stories are fun - thanks for starting the thread. I had a big golden Palomino QH who was a real character. If you knew what you were doing, he would really test you - but once you proved who was boss, he was an absolutely amazing horse. He taught me soooo much! Champ was also my "babysitter" horse. If you put a beginner rider or a child on him, he absolutely took care of them. I swear he thought like a human, and could read people better than any human. My son had a friend who thought he was "all that." A swaggery little braggart who thought no one could ride better than him (or do anything better than him, really). Kelly was one of those kids it was just hard to be around for long. One day he came over and he and my two boys decided to saddle up and go for a ride - they were about 10-11 years old. I let Kelly ride Champ, and watched the kids as they started riding the path through the field that led to our trails. Kelly kept popping Champ with the ends of his reins trying to make him run - being the "cowboy" he thought he was - but Champ wasn't having any of it. I was disturbed to see him smacking him harder and harder, and was just about to go out and holler at him when Champ stopped dead in his tracks. Kelly worked up a real sweat trying to make Champ go again, but no matter what he did, that horse wasn't moving. My boys were laughing by now (and so was I), and Kelly was no doubt feeling totally humiliated. He got off the horse and tried to walk him toward the trail - no go. Then he tried to get back in the saddle, and Champ just kept walking circles around him so he couldn't get his foot in the stirrup. After several minutes Kelly gave up and started leading the horse toward home. I met the boys at the barn where Kelly handed me Champ's reins with the disgusted comment, "Stupid horse!" . . .but he was smart enough to teach that young boy a lesson! PB 
____________________ It's not always about trying to fix something that's broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better. |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 01:05 pm |
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65th Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member
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Sorry there's something wrong with my computer that duplicates my posts. Last edited on Thu Jul 15th, 2010 01:06 pm by goranbockman ____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 01:01 pm |
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66th Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member
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Haha l1 That was funny!! A reminder from the horses not to be too concerned with worldly matters.
____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 11:57 am |
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67th Post |
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sdlepal Ranch Hand 
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This was funny just because my husband has those "stupid" ideas. Well our driveway is pretty long and around the front of the house it gets muddy in the early Spring. My husband has a nice, well cared for Dodge truck that no one is allowed to touch. (Imagine how it is to use this truck going riding and camping with horses all around). Anyways, he thought he would be smart and park it along the pasture that has two strands of electric fence up the driveway where it would not get his pretty truck muddy. Well, he had been on nite shift so of course it was dark when he got in his truck. He thought it was funny the drivers side mirror was kinda out of wack. So if you have ever worked midnights, you know you are not always all there when coming or going. He gets home and walks around the truck and Wow! You would not believe all the teeth marks running down the side of the truck and all the missing green paint! The horses had a night of fun for sure. It cost him a few thousand dollars to get it fixed. So now he brings it all the way to the garage even if it is muddy!
____________________ Pam and Cowboy Casey |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 11:26 am |
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68th Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member
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TessieBAgain wrote: Long ago, Dink and I took an overnight camping trip with a few friends. Dink was horrible, spooking at everything, making the other horses spook at everything. He basically ruined the trip for every one. Well, we were all exhausted at the end of the ride but took care of the horses and put them on a high tie line. Of course Dink squealed and carried on but eventually quieted. Things got too quiet and I went to look outside my tent. Dink, with his everlasting busy mind, decided to release all the other horses by taking off their halters. He had chewed through his rope and used his busy lips to free the other fellows. I collected the geldings and put Dink in the trailer where he was finally happy eating hay. You know I find some horses are just making a show of sppoking, like actresses pretending to faint.
____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 11:14 am |
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69th Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member
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crs trail rider wrote: The stinker reached up- took his lips, pulled the lever down and shook the rope free. ARGGGHHHHH And then just stood there and looked at me again. Hahaha that's so funny. Some horses are just too smart for their...our own good.l1
____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 10:29 am |
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70th Post |
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TessieBAgain G.O.G Community Member
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Long ago, Dink and I took an overnight camping trip with a few friends. Dink was horrible, spooking at everything, making the other horses spook at everything. He basically ruined the trip for every one. Well, we were all exhausted at the end of the ride but took care of the horses and put them on a high tie line. Of course Dink squealed and carried on but eventually quieted. Things got too quiet and I went to look outside my tent. Dink, with his everlasting busy mind, decided to release all the other horses by taking off their halters. He had chewed through his rope and used his busy lips to free the other fellows. I collected the geldings and put Dink in the trailer where he was finally happy eating hay. I didn't think it was funny but the other riders did.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15th, 2010 12:46 am |
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71st Post |
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crs trail rider Ranch Hand 
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Thats way too funny. Most of my "funny" horse tails involve a horse that has since passed over the rainbow bridge. While I owned him he was both a source of humor and enjoyment and the biggest PIA that ever walked on two feet. He was the smartest horse I have ever seen and was always finding ways to get into trouble. We put a round pen up in our pasture. It is made of pvc covered t-posts and 1 inch electric tape. The tape was secured in the insulators by a square plastic "ring" for lack of a better way to say it. It slips over the top of the clip locking the tape into place. Well we had put the Tposts in the ground and the covers over the posts and took a break to get some other work done. Later in the afternoon we drove the truck to the round pen w/spools of electric tape in the back of the truck. We started stringing the strands and I started noticing that the little squares were missing off quite a few of them. During this time Andy had walked up to see what we were doing. He looked at me reached over snatched one of the squares off of the post and trotted away. When he got far enough away he looked at me and SPIT IT OUT- after he had chewed it into a line. We found many of these straight plastic pieces on the ground. But was he finished- OH NO not him. While we were trying to find replacement squares he reached into the truck took out a FULL spool of tape and took off across the pasture with his prize. My husband was not amused. I had learned my lesson with him already and just let him run himself out and he dropped it eventually when we didnt give chase. But he tried to take another one before we shooed him away. Another instance was when I decided - because he was a puller- to use one of those tie rings on him. Worked great- he stopped pulling. So I had him tied at the trailer and I put my head in the trailer to get something and when I stepped out again- he was standing there untied. HMMMM. He just looked at me (and if I do say so looking rather proud of himself) So I retied him- putting the line through the loop and securing with the lever thingy. I sat down on the trailer and pretended to look the other way. The stinker reached up- took his lips, pulled the lever down and shook the rope free. ARGGGHHHHH And then just stood there and looked at me again.
____________________ Its rarely the horses fault- Its usually a failure of the rider to communicate their requests in a manner that the horse can understand. Lisa |
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| Posted: Wed Jul 14th, 2010 04:22 pm |
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72nd Post |
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goranbockman G.O.G Community Member
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How I miss those evenings when us riders, who kept our horses in the same barn, would sit down together over a glass of wine, and tell each other stories of our experiences with this or that horse. I would like this to be a thread where we all share our horse tales; I'll go first. I was trying to load a horse, that I had received for training, onto a transport. The horse was unwilling and I eventually realized that coaxing alone wasn't going to do the trick. So I locked hands with another guy, applying them under the tail of the horse, and we started to push and heave him forward, step by small step. Allowing this was apparently very unnerving to the horse, who was blowing hard, but wasn't doing anything vicious, like kicking. His body was as stiff as a log, but when I applied my shoulder to his rear he suddenly relaxed. I was wearing a new, expensive jacket with big open pockets, and I had been considering taking it off, as I was getting rather hot from the work. However, as I felt him relax I didn't bother, thinking we would soon have done with the task. Just then I felt a hot and wet wind wooshing past my ear, swiftly followed by a rapid stream of horse's apples, neatly landing in my jacket pocket. I usually don't much mind the smell of horse dung, but this was something else. I gagged and had to back off. Having finished his business the damn horse calmly took the few remaining steps into the transport, and my friend was rolling on the ground laughing his guts out, as I went and chucked my jacket in the bin.l1
____________________ Racking rocks!! |
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